Oracle Adventure

Oracle Adventure
(or, how to get the wits scared out of you in front of 26,000 people)

In July 2005, my dad and I became part of the Oracle pole-holding team at the
Muskegon Air Fair because I won an essay contest sponsored by the radio station Star-108.
When we first got there, I was surprised that there were so many potential pole-holders ...
little did I know what we were in for. I soon found out that we could have used 10 more.

Here we are, the whole team. That's my dad (third from the right) wearing the Blue Angels
hat, with me on his left. And the hunk standing on my left? He's an Air Force pilot. See how
he copied my hand-on-hip gesture? I think he was trying to send me some sort of signal.
Come to Mama, baby.

This is my dad with Sean Tucker, the famous pilot of the Oracle plane. He's
a great guy and a hell of a stunt pilot. Cute, too.

What a couple of pole-holding show-offs!

Here's the cool, cool little Oracle.

This was an adventure, let me tell you. The poles are 20 feet high and the plane is traveling
200 miles per hour. It was extremely windy and the wind was buffeting those Oracle flags so
hard we could barely hang onto the poles ... and if we happened to drop a pole, it could
have flown into the plane and likely caused a catastrophe. For the pilot. And for us.

Good. Lord. Almighty.

Before cutting the ribbon, Sean played with us for a while by buzzing us just above our
heads and covering us with smoke. (My dad saw him grinning all the while.) Then he flew in
and went below the ribbon—BELOW THE RIBBON—meaning he was only about 10 feet from the ground. Seconds later he came zooming back and snapped that ribbon in two. When it was over, I wanted to do it all over again. I'm a little bit insane, I think.

This is the pin we earned for being official pole-holders. Wonder how much I
could get for it on eBay? Naww, I wouldn't sell it. It looks too good on my hat.

Sigh. I love these little Hornets, and I was able to photograph them from right at the edge
of the runway while the common people had to stay behind the gate. Us pole-holders, we
got connections. Just before the Blue Angels took off, they taxied right by us and while
most people gave the pilots the thumbs-up sign, I gave them the Big Guns sign. Being an
insider, I know about those things. (Okay, I found it in a picture.)

Oh my. My my my my my. This F-16 Fighting Falcon is one awesome jet. To this pilot, I didn't
give the Big Guns sign, I gave him the Okay, hows about you come over to my place and I'll
give you a nice backrub sign.

This is my sister-friend Britta. We call ourselves Thelma and Louise (she's Thelma). Or
sometimes we call ourselves Paris and Nicole (she's Paris) depending on how saucy we're
feeling. Britta is a radio personality with Star 108, and because she's a bigger celebrity than
I am, she got to fly with the Blue Angels and I didn't. Beyotch. (Just kidding, Britta. Love you!)

This is my deck garden. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the Air Fair
but it's so pretty I wanted to show it off.

More deck garden ... my little haven away from the craziness.

<Porky Pig voice>

Bididit bididit bididit, that's all folks!